Am I Codependent?
Codependency is all about putting you before me in relationships. A codependent’s self esteem is centered around how others think and/or feel about them. Codependents are very good at being ‘chameleons’ as they often change dependent on their environment in order to be accepted
Codependents experience low self-esteem, excessive need to please, and difficulty setting boundaries. Codependents will frequently abandon their own needs and wants to take on the responsibility for others’ problems. Can you relate?
Where Does Codependency Come From?
Codependent behaviors develop in childhood. In most cases, the child’s emotions/feelings were ignored or even punished. Moreover, these children begin to, believe their needs didn’t matter.
In addition, codependents have at least one parents who, often struggle to meet their children emotional needs. Examples include; addiction, depression, personality disorders, low self esteem and difficulty managing their own overwhelm In these situations, children are often forced to take on responsibilities such as taking care of their siblings as well as the emotional needs of their own parent(s).
Codependent behaviors are ways children adapt of dysfunctional environments. As they become adults, those same behaviors prevent them from experiencing healthy relationships.
Signs of Codependency
Codependent people will typically one or more telltale codependency signs:
- The belief you must “save” or “rescue” others
- Low self-esteem
- A one-sided relationship where one person is responsible and the other is allowed to be chronically irresponsible.
- Going without so that others can have what they need or want.
- Walking on eggshells around others and keeping opinions to yourself so as not to upset the other person.
- Martyrdom – taking care of everyone else and resentful when no one cares for you.
- A need to control
- A need to please
- An inability to set boundaries
- Staying in relationships that are harmful or abusive
- A feeling of guilt when taking care of yourself
The good news is, there is hope for a recovery from codependency!!! It is important to find a therapist who is knowledgeable in the symptoms and treatment of codependency. In addition, there are several resources available including a 12 step program called Codependents anonymous. You are worth experiencing a healthy relationships with others and yourself!
If you’d like to explore treatment options, please reach out to me.