Codependency is the condition in which one person relies on another to meet their emotional and self-esteem needs. A codependent will believe ” What you think or how you feel about me in more important than what I think or feel about myself.”
Symptoms of Codependency
The following is a list of symptoms of codependency and being in a codependent relationship. You don’t need to have them all to qualify as codependent.
- Low self-esteem.Feeling that you’re not good enough or comparing yourself to others are signs of low self-esteem.
- People-pleasing. Codependents please others to gain approval and acceptance. Often times their people pleasing comes at a cost, as they abandon their own interests to make someone else happy. Setting boundaries often cause great distress and/or anxiety for the codependent. A codependent will frequently feel responsible for someone else feeling.
- Control.Control helps codependents feel safe and secure. Codependents frequently give unasked for advice to those in their lives. Frequently this behavior is an attempt to cope with their own anxieties or discomfort with he behaviors of someone else. They often feel a need to ‘rescue’ or ‘fix’ others because it provides a boost to their self esteem. in many cases, the codependents rescuing behavior(s) are conditional, as they expect something in return
- Dysfunctional communication.Codependents have trouble when it comes to communicating their thoughts, feelings and needs. Of course, if you don’t know what you think, feel or need, this becomes a problem. Other times, you know, but you won’t own up to your truth. You’re afraid to be truthful, because you don’t want to upset someone else. Instead of saying, “I don’t like that,” you might pretend that it’s okay or tell someone what to do. Communication becomes dishonest and confusing when you try to manipulate the other person out of fear.
- Dysfunctional relationships.Codependents often spend their time obsessing about other people especially those they are in relationship with. This is caused by their dependency on others to meet their needs. In addition, codependents will enable their loved one to maintain visor her irresponsible, addictive, or underachieving behavior
- Dependency.Codependents need other people to like them to feel good about themselves. They’re afraid of being rejected or abandoned, They often feel depressed or lonely when they’re by themselves. They frequently remain in unhealthy and painful relationships for to long. They tend to rationalize remaining in relationships focusing on the potential of their partner rather than their behavior(s) in the moment
- Denial. Codependents usually believe the problems they experience are the fault of others in their lives. Blaming others makes it difficult for the codependent to take responsibility for their life. They continue to complain or try to fix the other person, as they go from one relationship to another, or job hop believing these changes will solve their problems. Codependents also have a difficult time identifying their needs due to their tendency to focus outside of themselves. They are more comfortable focusing on the needs and feelings of others rather then their own.